How I Learned to Stop Sounding Like a Robot and Write Emails People Actually Read

I used to think cold email was a numbers game. Write a template, upload a list of 500 names, hit send, and pray for a 1% reply rate. For years, I followed the advice from "growth hacking" blogs, leaving a trail of unread emails and annoyed recipients in my wake. My outbox was a graveyard of bad pitches.

Then I realized something: we were all doing it wrong.

The Problem with "Cold Email Frameworks"

Most advice about cold email reads like an instruction manual for a particularly soulless machine. "Leverage synergies," "optimize value propositions," "engineer high-conversion CTAs." It's no wonder our emails sound like they were written by a corporate drone who just discovered a thesaurus.

The real issue isn't that people hate getting emails—it's that people can smell a self-serving template from a mile away. And when your "personalized" email just has a {{first_name}} tag and a generic compliment, people notice.

What Actually Works: Three Approaches That Don't Suck

1. Start with a Real Observation (Not a Fake Compliment)

Instead of crafting a generic opening like "Hope you're having a productive week," start with proof that you're a human who did a tiny bit of homework.

I've seen founders get incredible reply rates by starting with genuine, specific observations:

"Just read your post on scaling remote teams. Your point about asynchronous communication really hit home."
"Saw the news about your Series B to expand into the EU—congrats! Scaling support across time zones must be a top priority."
"Congrats on the new VP role! I've seen leaders in your position often focus on nailing their 90-day plan."

These work because they’re real. You can't fake having actually read their post or knowing what a new leader at a scaling company is probably thinking about.

The key: Your observation proves you're writing to them, not just blasting a list.

2. Write Like You Actually Talk

The business world has trained us to write in a stilted, formal tone that no one ever uses in real life. "I am reaching out to you today to discuss potential synergies..." just screams "delete me."

Write like you're sending a message to a smart colleague. Use contractions. Use simple words. Be direct.

A story: I once helped a founder rewrite a campaign targeting CTOs. His original draft was a mess of "holistic paradigms." We threw it out. The new version started with: "Figured I'd reach out because most CTOs I talk to are getting buried under DevOps tickets." The reply rate tripled. It sounded like it came from a real person solving a real problem.

The key: Read your email out loud. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face, don't put it in an email.

3. Ask for a Conversation, Not a Commitment

The "15-minute consultation call" is a huge ask from a complete stranger. It’s needy and presumptuous. You haven't earned their time yet.

The goal of the first email isn't to book a meeting; it's to confirm that the problem you think they have is a problem they actually have.

Good examples of low-pressure questions:

"Is this something on your radar right now?"
"Worth a quick chat about this?"
"Am I off base here?"

These are easy to answer. They lower the barrier to a reply and open the door for a real dialogue.

The key: Your job is to earn the right to ask for their time, not demand it upfront.

The Real Rules of Cold Email

Every person is different, but here’s what actually matters:

Read the digital room. Spend five minutes on their LinkedIn profile or company news page. Understand what they care about right now. You can't fake relevance.
Be useful first. Your email should be centered on a problem they have, not on the solution you sell. Frame it as an observation or a helpful insight.
Make your signature work. If they're intrigued by your email, they'll glance at your signature to figure out who you are. Make sure your name, company, and a one-line description are clear. No need to waste the first sentence on it.
Accept that you'll get ghosted. A lot. That’s tuition for learning how this works. Every non-reply is data.

What This Actually Looks Like

Here's a real example of an email I sent that worked:

I reached out to a new VP of Operations. I saw on her LinkedIn she'd just started two months ago at a fast-growing company. My email went something like this:

Subject: new role at [Company Name]
Congrats on the new VP of Ops role! The first 90 days are always a whirlwind. I imagine you're getting pulled in a million directions, especially with how fast [Company Name] is scaling. I built a tool that helps new ops leaders automate employee onboarding so they can focus on bigger things. Is making onboarding less of a manual headache on your radar at all?

Result: She replied an hour later. "It's a huge headache. Tell me more." Not because I pitched her with a "next-gen solution," but because I sounded like someone who understood her specific, current problem.

The Long Game

Cold outreach isn't about finding a magic template or a growth hack. It's about being a curious, observant human who can connect the dots between a problem someone has and a solution you've built.

This takes more effort than mail-merging a list of 1,000 names. But the payoff is real: you start conversations, build relationships, and get replies from people who actually want to talk to you.

Getting Started (Without the Frameworks)

Pick one person you genuinely want to talk to.
Spend 10 minutes just looking at their LinkedIn, their company's recent news, or their posts. Find one specific, interesting thing.
Write one human sentence connecting that observation to a problem you can solve.
Ask one simple question to see if you're right.
Be patient.

That's it. No "high-conversion templates." No "synergistic value props." Just showing up as a thoughtful human being.

The Bottom Line

Cold email works when it doesn't feel cold. When you’re genuinely curious about the person on the other end, they want to know what you have to say. When you’re just there to run a play from your sales playbook, they can tell.

The best cold email doesn't feel like a pitch at all. It feels like getting a message from someone interesting who happens to be working on something that might actually help.

And that's not a tactic you can automate—it's just being human.